tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37417991.post3601289197169196581..comments2024-03-28T07:05:37.369-07:00Comments on The Ombuds Blog: How Important Are Appearances for OmbudsTom Kosakowskihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14264466024238046628noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37417991.post-45214985233718358842008-07-17T12:27:00.000-07:002008-07-17T12:27:00.000-07:00Tom, thanks for linking to my post and for adding ...Tom, thanks for linking to my post and for adding your own thoughts. You make a great point about the need to be authentic. I'm grateful to the anonymous commenter for raising an issue that I hadn't addressed about women and confrontation -- the article I linked to concludes by saying, "Our advice: don’t be confrontational. Getting fired-up and emotional may have an adverse reaction." Arrghh!!<BR/><BR/>I can't believe that in this day and age, people are still peddling that old double standard. Is it 2008? Or 1948? Hard to tell sometimes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37417991.post-301450988782850922008-07-17T08:38:00.000-07:002008-07-17T08:38:00.000-07:00Great thoughts on a topic that I'm sure people pro...Great thoughts on a topic that I'm sure people probably have strong beliefs about. My own belief is simply that how I communicate depends on the context of the situation. If I'm brokering a business deal and want to be able to influence the other party of course I'm going to be in a "power suit" and will speak much more differently than if I were coaching someone in the Ombuds setting. Though I don't like the word "mimic" which to me implies a lack of genuiness I do believe that it is important in any setting to be able to truly listen to the person in front of you and that you create a powerful connection, a connection that can sometimes be created by communicating/reflecting the other person's style, energy, etc. I think that the article that Dianne refers to is a little troubling in that the emphasis seems to be on appearance versus substance. I confess I've judged books by their covers but after the first few lines I do discard them if there's no substance. Both matter. The most troubling aspect about the article that Diane refers to is that it ends with this tip for women: Don't be confrontational and emotional. There's that double standard again. Boys (that eventually grow to be man) who are assertive and aggressive are reinforced by society but girls (that become women) that exhibit those exact same traits are labelled problems (and far worse thing than I can mention in this presumably "G" rated forum.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com